My Sweet Boy....

Sammy.

 

I've had him since he was maybe 8wks old, perhaps less.  He was small, and loud, and clung to me like velcro.  My cat Dink hated his guts, because he invaded "her" space and now "her person" was paying attention to him.  But he was too sweet to ignore....he'd wrap his paws around my neck and try and lick my eyelashes.  He slept with me, purring himself to sleep.

He's old now, just hit his 15th year.  He's deaf, and gets confused when he can't see me (and cries VERY loudly when that happens).  He meanders through the house, and only likes to sleep or be in areas where his back is protected and he can look out and see what's going on.  His routine, which they religiously follow, was abruptly shaken earlier this year, and I'm not sure he's been able to recover.

My father-in-law was here for 6mos last year, from early April 2010 through late September 2010, and he and Sammy were buddies. 

Ba Mostafa (my father-in-law) came again this year, and our hopes were he would stay here permanently.  When I opened the door on the day of his arrival, he looked more tired than ever before.  I thought it was just old age and the chilly air.  A month into his visit, we found out his cancer had returned and spread.  It was decided he would go home to Morocco, as he would want to die in his home country (we did not tell him the prognosis, but we knew his wishes).  His departure was swift....after a week in the hospital, his belongings were packed and we literally took him from the hospital to JFK, where my husband flew home with him to Morocco.  Sammy did not get to spend time with his buddy, and after ba Mostafa was gone, Sammy started having "accidents."  They were occasional, until I went to Morocco in early July (thinking it was the end), and when I returned....I could smell it. 

I doused the carpeting in all kinds of anti-stinky sprays, and it worked.  I put him on anti-anxiety medication to keep him from constantly pacing and crying (in addition to his hyper-thyroid medicine he gets).  But he just looks so....frail now....so lost.  Watching him is like seeing an old person....he moves more slowly, has trouble getting up, seems forgetful, gets confused.

I hope he will let me know when it's time.  I can't make that decision again, and have regrets.  I keep praying that Allah will take him one night in his sleep, just a peaceful departure.  I hope that's how I will go as well.