From time to time, I go back and read old journals and I find one recurring, sad testament in them all.....my whining about my weight and my statements saying I'm going to fix the problem. And yet, after all this time, all these years, I am still overweight. I am almost at my heaviest (I've weighed maybe 5lbs more than I do now, which would be my heaviest), and it's sad. I'm not getting any younger (another common theme throughout the years), and I've decided to try once more. I have been eating differently this week, and trying to fix my brain around the things I'm eating, instead of focusing on the "after I lose" results. Knowing myself, I'll want to "treat" myself for a job well done, and before I know it, I'll be right back where I am now. I think I have an addiction, I really do. There are certain foods that I love the texture of it in my mouth, like brownies, or warm chocolate chip cookies with ice cold milk. I have to completely break myself of these things, and probably.....sadly.....stay away from them. They are my "triggers" and would send me into a tailspin. Maybe I can have ONE, every so often, but I think making them and keeping them at home would be a huge mistake.
I did try this one recipe for a "dessert" which is ricotta cheese (low fat), mixed with flavoring (vanilla extract, cocoa powder, etc) and artificial sweetener. I tried it with vanilla extract, cocoa and Equal, and it did help with my sweet tooth. I also tried lemon extract and Equal, only this time I put it in the freezer and BOOM!! It was like lemon sorbet!! I thought to myself last night.....I might be able to sustain this, if I keep this type of "sweet treat" around for those times I need it!
I pray to Allah that I succeed with this, and change not only the way I look and the way I feel, but also my brain and how I look at food.
Salaam!
Ms B.
ReplyDeleteDon't be so hard on yourself. You are lovely just the way that you are. Find a balance, it is normal to have a sweet tooth, at least, that is what my psychology teacher said. Just try to have something once or twice a week that is sweet. If you deny yourself of the things that you enjoy you will find it hard to keep on track. Balance is the key.